Bad omen ?

Hey everyone! I'm gonna start this blog by mentioning how  much I love spring! It is my favorite season by far, and it's also when I'm born. My bday is next week, but I must say that I was never into celebrating it.... I don't like being sang to (happy bday and such), I like receiving flowers and gifts, but I don't make a big deal out of it, and I don't like throwing parties for it, cause they always turn out bad..... I can't remember a single bday party that I liked or that went on without any incidents...

That being said.... this has been a sad month so far. If last month we were celebrating my hubby's bday with a BFP, this month I'm celebrating my bday with a MC..... just figures...

Last wednesday was International Womens Day, which is kinda of a big deal here, cause it's also Mother's Day. I got a lot of flowers at work, but because I work also with my mom, and she wasn't in the office that day, everyone left her flowers on my desk as well... so I obviously had 2 of each at any point in time.

Well, you may ask yourself how beautiful spring flowers can be a bad omen and I don't know if this is the same in other cultures, but over here even numbered flowers are only taken to funerals. So I didn't like seeing them on my desk of course.

Come Friday I started bleeding and I started taking the meds that my doc gave me. Needless to say I felt pretty shitty all weekend, between cramps, bleeding, and a ton of side-effects from the meds, which included hyperventilation, accelerated pulse, high blood pressure, upset stomach and so on....

Last night, although it was pretty much over... just spotting a bit... I had the weirdest dream ever. It never happened to me before to have a dream within a dream, but last night was a first! I have to mention that seeing a baby in your dreams is also believed to be a bad omen here, a sign of illness or even death!

I was dreaming that I was miscarrying and that between all those cramps I gave birth to a baby girl, and I freaked out, I couldn't understand what had happened, how could the doctors been wrong? doing some weird calculation in my head (in my dream) I figured I was about 20 weeks preggo and I must've bled throughout the pregnancy cause I didn't know I was....
I was at my mother's house and they were all so happy to see the girl, but then I took a trip somewhere and when i saw my mom again I asked her where the baby was.... and she said What baby? were you dreaming? And I realized I must've dreamt it and woken up from a dream, but it seemed so real..... did I really just dreamt about holding my baby girl? It was so weird......
The dream continued for a while with me confused about what had happened and missing a plane I was supposed to get on and just weird stuff like that.

When I was woke up for real it was about 2:30am, I was still freaked out and confused..... that dream within the dream felt so real.... so palpable....it terrified me....

I don't know if it's a bad omen of things to come or if it's just a reflection of what I'm going through, but it scared me, it left me wondering...

Weird dreams

I've been trying to write this blog all weekend, but I just didn't seem to have the time to. Before I say anything, I should mention that I dream a lot (at night I mean, not with my eyes open). I think I dream more than most people, as in 3-4 dreams per night and I usually remember them all. Apart from dreaming a lot, I also get really weird dreams... if I would have the patience to write them down, they would make some of the best sci-fi movies around!!!

Having that said... this weekend was the epiphany of weird dreams, especially nightmares, some really scary. But there was one dream... the first one actually... that stood out to me, and I didn't even tell it to my hubby, just because I wasn't sure what significance it could have...

In this dream we were in a strange location, kinda looking like a house, and we were surrounded by these weird zombies all dressed up in suits, they were looking like a bunch a corporate "monkeys" doing a weird dancing routine, it's kinda like what I envision the corporate world to be.... everyone doing the same synced dance routine....I just can't figure out what they were doing in my dream.

The point is that we were running away from them in the dream and at some point I yelled to my hubby which was on a staircase to grab the girls from upstairs and he showed up with a pink, flowery design, baby carrier (the basic kind, that here in Romania they make you buy in order to take a baby home from the hospital). I attached a picture reference below. In the dream I knew there were 2 little girls in there, but I could never see them.

I'm hoping that's a good omen, because in my country it is believed that when you see a small baby in your dreams that it symbolizes death, but I guess that's different in every culture.